I said I wouldn’t do this after making fun of my friends who have already turned 30 or approaching, but I find myself doing it already. It seems like when they turned 29, every statement from that point on begins with “I”m damn near 30….” How ironic that I’ve been doing the same thing even though I just turned 29 in April. I have over six months left, but I’ll be damned if the time isn’t flying by. There are a lot of things I used to do with no reservation that I think are questionable as a I get older. I am constantly maturing and happy about it. Even the things I did at 25, I don’t find exciting anymore. Here’s a short list of things I’m now too old to do.
1. Start smoking weed. Lately I’ve been under a little stress. Not a monumental amount, but some nonetheless. A good friend who partakes in smoking regularly always tells me, “You should smoke somethin’. That’s what I do!” Right, but sense I’m not in high or college, I think it’s a little too late to start habits now (Unless I’m Montel Williams and smoke to reduce disease related pain.). I figure if I made it through four years Southern University and five years of Baton Rouge without even trying weed, there’s no need to start now. I’m not knocking folks who do, but I’ll still pass (no pun intended).
2. Get a tattoo. Yet, another rites of passage to “fake adulthood” (finally turning 18) that I passed on. It’s like an unwritten rule that the day a person turns 18, they immediately either get a tattoo, a piercing or sometimes both. The day all of my suitemates and friends in college took their trip to the tatoo shop together, I felt the least compelled to go. I still remember a co-worker at my job in high school getting tatted the day of his 18th birthday (just one day before mine). He kept running to the employee lounge to rub aloe vera on it. It looked disgusting. So, no thank you, over 10 years later, I’ll forgo getting a butterfly or rose on my back.
3. Shop at teenybopper stores regularly. Let me do a disclaimer first. Yes, I do shop occasionally at Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe. The idea is to grab different trendy pieces for quick outfits from these stores, not to build your entire wardrobe. At damn near 30, I need not wear a micro skirt that I know will unravel after one wash to work. It just won’t work. But a $7.99 tank top to an outdoor concert, etc.? That may work. At the very least, I shop for accessories and tanks. Everything in those stores is made for a teenagers whose height is no more than 5’6. But I do like their bags!
4. Stand in a long line to get into a club (especially a club I’ve already been to). Yes, I’m guilty. In college, I remember my friend almost killing all of us in her Toyota Corolla trying to make it to the club before 10:30. We were too broke to dish out $10-$20 for a weekly party that consisted of getting bitten on the butt by guys, having Omega Oil spilled on us and sweating our hair out. If our “connect” wasn’t at the door, free time it was. You’d swear we were in line to get into the Pearly Gates. I guess the bouncer was equivalent to St. Peter.
Honestly, this just happened this weekend. Driving or walking by a long line of people waiting to get into a club that’s not top-notch teaches something. When I was in my teens and late 20s, it wasn’t so bad. We’d just stand there laughing and clowning with each other or other regulars we knew. Now, it just looks damn near desperate. I cannot allow myself to go through that any longer. On the flip, I refuse to pay double or triple of anybody’s cover charge to wait in a supposed “express line.” Miss me with that. My desire to mill around a club, kiki with folks and be seen just isn’t there anymore. It’s called growth. Do I want to have fun? Yes. Just within limits.
I could add many more things to this list like not taking advantage of insurances and retirement plans, but I didn’t want to get too deep. It’s Hump Day! What do you think you’re too old to do?