You’ve been on a rollercoaster lately, huh? You’ve had a defining argument with one of your besties, lost a romantic relationship and a job all in one day. You randomly and finally shared a secret that’s been eating at you for years with a former partner. Life has definitely been life’ing.
You feel misunderstood when all you’ve ever done is HELP the people you care about. You feel used and unappreciated for your efforts, which are always for the greater good despite how they’re carried out. You’re an ambitious, accomplished woman on the fast track of life, yet it seems like no one else can see where you’re headed or why. So what gives?
It’s time we had a little chat.
As much as you would like or prefer it, business and pleasure do not mix, atleast not well. You cannot be the fixer and friend, the love inspiration and the employee. Be driven, but not at the expense of your community or “Day 1’s.”
Although you may think it matters, your business acumen and connections do not make for a valuable friend when sometimes a friend only needs your ear, your loyalty and a good time. You’ve probably thought all along that YOU were the star of your friend circle, and maybe, just maybe you like it that way…The one your girls turn to to make it happen. Their voice of reason because you have all the answers. You won’t admit it, but it boosts your ego.
Maybe you have the answers for them, but lack foresight in your own life. It happens…all of the time. It’s okay to just BE, not have the upper hand in a relationship, platonic or romantic. Holding on to anger because they were unaware of your trauma you never shared isn’t the best strategy. Isn’t it crazy how we think that works when the person our secrets and silence affect the most are ourselves?
They say the one who cares the least has the most control, and perhaps, that’s why you withheld such vital information from someone close to you, but the truth is, you do care. A lot. That doesn’t make you a softie or less on your shit. It makes you human.
While I’m at it, remember that everyone in your circle will have their time in the sun, and they don’t need your “shade” from it. Allow them to bask in that light, whether you think they will wither from its glow or not. Your time to shine will come again. Learn to be happy for others’ successes that have nothing to do with you. I know it can be hard to do, but stretch yourself.
You are not better than women who are different from you in experiences, upbringing or goals, They each have something within them that’s valuable and needed in the world just like you do. It’s okay to be open to them and celebrate them. Your differences could bless each other.
All in all, you mean well. There is no doubt that you are a great friend, leader and contributor to the culture, but never forget that you, too, require introspection and fine tuning from time to time. You aren’t perfect. *gasp*
You are a work in progress, always evolving and free to make mistakes, but smart enough to admit to and fix them without pride or judgement of others. You can be the best and still want your village to win, without or without your orchestration.
You’re a great woman destined for so much more than what has happened to you thus far. Keep moving forward, never looking back, but always looking within.